We are sitting at dinner, when Jake gets up to get a drink.
" Oh man, the Koolaid is out"
"Jake, all you have to do is put the mix in the container and add the water"
"But I always mess it up"
"How do you mess up KoolAid? Go get the container and the mix.
Jake does this and brings it all to the kitchen table - at which point we yell for him to take it over the sink. He dumps the powder into the container, turns on the water THEN LEAVES THE CONTAINER in the sink, coming back to the table to finish his dinner.
"Gee, maybe my ADHD and lack of ability to focus for more than 20 seconds is causing the problems with the KoolAid!"
Jake is sent back to the sink - but only after he thoroughly chewed the bite in his mouth.
Then he comes back with the container - I shake it and it is fine. Jacob is REALLY amazed that it worked this time!
The Story behind the Stories
When Jake was three, he was diagnosed with a nasal encephalocoele which required brain surgery. Ever since then, he has struggled to catch up academically, but his heart is one of the purest I have ever known. Because his brain didn't process well, he never learned stranger anxiety and most of the time doesn't fear anything. I started these as a way to remember all the things he says and does that are so very different from my other children. The aftermath of that brain surgery has been ADD and epilepsy, which he has also taken in stride. He is a joy most of the time, I only wish people could appreciate his uniqueness and spirit, rather than wanting him to fit into a mold.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Those Girls!
Yesterday, Jacob came home late, riding someone else's scooter. He has adapted as well as can be expected considering he wants to go home, too. He found some friends just up the street who go to his school. He isn't thrilled that they are girls, but he plays there just the same.
When he came home, I asked what they were playing there. He said, you know mom, house and all kinds of other stuff. I chuckled and said it seemed like he was having fun.
Jacob told me - NO mom, those girls, they really wear me out!!!
When he came home, I asked what they were playing there. He said, you know mom, house and all kinds of other stuff. I chuckled and said it seemed like he was having fun.
Jacob told me - NO mom, those girls, they really wear me out!!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Jacob's Heart
My Family by Jacob; February, 2004
My mom is the best mom. My mom cooks the best meals in the world. My mom is very very loving to me. My mom takes care of me when I am sick. My mom is fun and she is funny. She gives me good kisses. She takes good care of me. My mom makes me happy. My mom gives me good hugs when I am really sad.
My brother shares things like my Nintendo 64. My brother goes swimming with me and then we go home. My brother is funny by beating himself up. My brother is brave. When I am scared, I hold him.
I like to play in the snow and I will throw snowballs at my brother. It's very funny when he throws one back at me and we make a fort out of snow. My favorite recipe is a snow cone. You need snow, flavor a cone and that's it. The End
My mom is the best mom. My mom cooks the best meals in the world. My mom is very very loving to me. My mom takes care of me when I am sick. My mom is fun and she is funny. She gives me good kisses. She takes good care of me. My mom makes me happy. My mom gives me good hugs when I am really sad.
My brother shares things like my Nintendo 64. My brother goes swimming with me and then we go home. My brother is funny by beating himself up. My brother is brave. When I am scared, I hold him.
I like to play in the snow and I will throw snowballs at my brother. It's very funny when he throws one back at me and we make a fort out of snow. My favorite recipe is a snow cone. You need snow, flavor a cone and that's it. The End
John Travolta has Nothing on me
During the first week of school, Jacob decided to establish himself as popular. Apparently, in the Fourth Grade, this has a lot to do with what he wears. We have now had several mornings in a row where I just could not let him leave in the attire he had on – too small, too short, just too weird – even for a mom who can barely match her own clothes.
Last Wednesday, Jacob had on an atrocious outfit, blue nylon gym pants that were at least two sizes too small, giving the appearance of a stuffed sausage and a black shirt which was also too small. As he ate breakfast, I brought clothes to change into. While putting on the shirt he told me:
“Well, there goes my being popular. A guy can’t be popular with this shirt on.” I asked why not and he just shook his head. A minute or so later, when I brought in his socks he told me:
“I picked out my wife”
“Do many kids in your class have their wives picked out?” I asked, about to drop my teeth.
“No, just a couple of us.”
“Who is she?”
To protect his future, I will not tell you the little lassie’s name, but it is not the same girl he was in love with last year. “Even if she doesn’t like the shirt, I still have some dance moves that will keep me popular.” At this he looked me straight in the eye and said “ I have some great moves and girls like it if you can dance”
Last Wednesday, Jacob had on an atrocious outfit, blue nylon gym pants that were at least two sizes too small, giving the appearance of a stuffed sausage and a black shirt which was also too small. As he ate breakfast, I brought clothes to change into. While putting on the shirt he told me:
“Well, there goes my being popular. A guy can’t be popular with this shirt on.” I asked why not and he just shook his head. A minute or so later, when I brought in his socks he told me:
“I picked out my wife”
“Do many kids in your class have their wives picked out?” I asked, about to drop my teeth.
“No, just a couple of us.”
“Who is she?”
To protect his future, I will not tell you the little lassie’s name, but it is not the same girl he was in love with last year. “Even if she doesn’t like the shirt, I still have some dance moves that will keep me popular.” At this he looked me straight in the eye and said “ I have some great moves and girls like it if you can dance”
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Donuts
This is not a Jacob story, but every time I hear it, "Steve" reminds me of Jacob. Couldn't resist using this format to share.
There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending Seminary in Utah. In this Seminary, classes are held during school hours. Brother Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Bro. Christianson's Seminary class.
Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.
One day, Bro. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"
Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."
Then Bro. Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"
Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Bro. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know...I've never done 300 at a time."
"Do you think you could?", again, asked Bro. Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it?" I need you to tell me you can do it," Bro. Christianson said.
Steve said, "Well...I think I can...yeah, I can do it."
Bro. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Bro. Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts. They were the extra fancy, BIG kind with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.
Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe,do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups,! Joe got a donut.
And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacked
for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott, do you want a donut?"
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?"
Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"
Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.
Bro. Christianson asked Jenny," Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Jenny said, "No."
Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.
By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and
brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row.
During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this, he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a tough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in, you will have to do ten push-ups for him?" Steve said, "Yes, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"
"Yes."
"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters.
Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular.
Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a donut?"
Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."
Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.
Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?"
Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone. Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Bro. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He
had done everything that was required of Him, He collapsed on the cross and died."
"And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift, on the desk, uneaten”
There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending Seminary in Utah. In this Seminary, classes are held during school hours. Brother Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Bro. Christianson's Seminary class.
Steve was told that he could not be late, so he arrived just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.
One day, Bro. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Bro. Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"
Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."
Then Bro. Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"
Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
"200? That's pretty good, Steve," Bro. Christianson said. "Do you think you could do 300?"
Steve replied, "I don't know...I've never done 300 at a time."
"Do you think you could?", again, asked Bro. Christianson.
"Well, I can try," said Steve.
"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it?" I need you to tell me you can do it," Bro. Christianson said.
Steve said, "Well...I think I can...yeah, I can do it."
Bro. Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."
Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, Bro. Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts. They were the extra fancy, BIG kind with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend.
Bro. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?" Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Bro. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
Bro. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe,do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes."
Bro. Christianson asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups,! Joe got a donut.
And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Bro. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was captain of the football team and center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacked
for female companionship. When Bro. Christianson asked, "Scott, do you want a donut?"
Scott's reply was, "Well, can I do my own push-ups?"
Bro. Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them." Then Scott said, "Well, I don't want one then." Bro. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"
Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
Bro. Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it." And he put a donut on Scott's desk.
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow. Bro. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.
Bro. Christianson asked Jenny," Jenny, do you want a donut?"
Jenny said, "No."
Then Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten, Jenny got a donut.
By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and
brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. Bro. Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. So Robert began to watch Steve closely. Bro. Christianson started down the fourth row.
During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Bro. Christianson realized this, he did a quick count and saw 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it. Bro. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a tough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set. Steve asked Bro. Christianson, "Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?" Bro. Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You can do them any way that you want." And Bro. Christianson went on. A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
Bro. Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in, you will have to do ten push-ups for him?" Steve said, "Yes, let him come in." Bro. Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"
"Yes."
"Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?"
Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. Bro. Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters.
Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off of his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular.
Bro. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a donut?"
Linda said, very sadly, "No, thank you."
Bro. Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.
Then Bro. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"
Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Bro. Christianson, can I help him?"
Bro. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone. Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
Bro. Christianson turned to the room and said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He
had done everything that was required of Him, He collapsed on the cross and died."
"And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift, on the desk, uneaten”
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Can I help?
November 2003
We went to Branson over Thanksgiving and stayed at a condo with my parents. Branson was more fun than I anticipated, and the mall was great. There was a clown making balloon animals at a little stand, right next to the pizza place where we decided to have dinner. Jake watched in amazement for a little while. Then sauntered up to the man and asked if he could help. The clown nodded and jake got comfortable at teh table right next to the clown, like he was meant to sit there. He sat for an hour watching as Mickey Mouse and poodles and a giraffe were neatly crafted. He held the balloons and helped while the man twisted and turned. He smiled graciously at the customers and thanked them when they put tips in the jar.We watched from a couple fo tables away, amazed at his lack of self-consciousness that stops others from doing exactly what they want.
When we got ready to leave, he thanked the man for letting him help. The man smiled and made him three balloons shaped like an alien. Jake treasured those all the way home and they stayed in his room until the helium finally collapsed.
We went to Branson over Thanksgiving and stayed at a condo with my parents. Branson was more fun than I anticipated, and the mall was great. There was a clown making balloon animals at a little stand, right next to the pizza place where we decided to have dinner. Jake watched in amazement for a little while. Then sauntered up to the man and asked if he could help. The clown nodded and jake got comfortable at teh table right next to the clown, like he was meant to sit there. He sat for an hour watching as Mickey Mouse and poodles and a giraffe were neatly crafted. He held the balloons and helped while the man twisted and turned. He smiled graciously at the customers and thanked them when they put tips in the jar.We watched from a couple fo tables away, amazed at his lack of self-consciousness that stops others from doing exactly what they want.
When we got ready to leave, he thanked the man for letting him help. The man smiled and made him three balloons shaped like an alien. Jake treasured those all the way home and they stayed in his room until the helium finally collapsed.
Cereal Killer
May, 2004
Jacob has a friend from school who was in his special ed class. This little guy spent the night but could not get comfortable or settled down. WE had to keep remaking the bed on the floor, piling more and more covers until he finally got comfortable and fell asleep. While he was sleeping, he wet the bed. Not a big deal, except that he didn’t tell me. The five blankets beneath him and his pajamas were left on the floor – wet – for most of the day.
Needless to say, I was feeling a little cautious about having him stay overnight again. This little guy is also having a lot of emotional problems and has been leaving strange messages on the answering machine. One time he left a series of messages to the effect that if Jacob did not call him back immediately their relationship was over. Odd for a 9 year old.
When he called asking to come over and stay again, Jerra piped in saying that she read 80% of serial killers used to wet the bed (don't know if there is any truth to this).
Jacob immediately defended his friend saying, “ Mom, he doesn't even eat cereal - his mom is on that same kind of diet you guys are on. She thinks cereal is bad for him.”
Jacob has a friend from school who was in his special ed class. This little guy spent the night but could not get comfortable or settled down. WE had to keep remaking the bed on the floor, piling more and more covers until he finally got comfortable and fell asleep. While he was sleeping, he wet the bed. Not a big deal, except that he didn’t tell me. The five blankets beneath him and his pajamas were left on the floor – wet – for most of the day.
Needless to say, I was feeling a little cautious about having him stay overnight again. This little guy is also having a lot of emotional problems and has been leaving strange messages on the answering machine. One time he left a series of messages to the effect that if Jacob did not call him back immediately their relationship was over. Odd for a 9 year old.
When he called asking to come over and stay again, Jerra piped in saying that she read 80% of serial killers used to wet the bed (don't know if there is any truth to this).
Jacob immediately defended his friend saying, “ Mom, he doesn't even eat cereal - his mom is on that same kind of diet you guys are on. She thinks cereal is bad for him.”
Pictionary
November 2003
The kids and I were having dinner at Don Pablo’s on a busy Friday night. Since we were getting restless, we decided to play pictionary. Josh started and Jerra guessed the picture. Then it was Jerra’s turn and she drew a little smiley face and Jake guessed it. Then he took the paper and covered the sheet with his arms as though protecting a great secret. Jerra asked what he was doing. “ I don’t want you to peek!” Uh Jake, the whole point of the game is for us to see and guess the picture! We all burst out laughing.
The kids and I were having dinner at Don Pablo’s on a busy Friday night. Since we were getting restless, we decided to play pictionary. Josh started and Jerra guessed the picture. Then it was Jerra’s turn and she drew a little smiley face and Jake guessed it. Then he took the paper and covered the sheet with his arms as though protecting a great secret. Jerra asked what he was doing. “ I don’t want you to peek!” Uh Jake, the whole point of the game is for us to see and guess the picture! We all burst out laughing.
My Buddy lives here…When Jacob disappears
August 2001
Even though we have only been in this neighborhood for about 6 months, Jacob knows every kid in the neighborhood. He has a constant problem with not telling us where he is going and is notorious for being somewhere new when we go to find him. When he was smaller, I would check every half hour or so. But the daily grind of checking for him gave way to a more practical approach.
I bought a watch with an alarm so that he would know to come home when the alarm went off. Unfortunately, he just had his friends turn off the alarm and continued playing. Therefore, the task continues to try to get him to report in with some regularity. This is not a defiance issue – he just is friends with everyone and goes off to play with another friend when the first has gone in for the night. I have been blessed with other neighborhood mothers who are patient with him and remind him to check in.
Usually I can find him among the scores of children on the two streets around us, but one night, I couldn't find him among any of those kids. Their reports that he had been seen riding hours ago in the direction away from the house only increased my fears.
After driving through the neighborhood looking for him for over an hour, I went to the next neighborhood over. A road that runs through both neighborhoods and is not busy attaches it - but I don't know anyone in that area. It was only a few moments before I saw his bike strewn in a front yard. I knocked on the door - but there was no answer. I called out for him, but got no response. Finally, I ran into the owner of the house. He was a big man with an oxygen tank. He said he had a couple of boys and that Jake came over there to play with his son. By the dad's report, Jake had been there for about an hour, and he had been there before. I gave him my number so that he could call if Jake came over again. Jake didn't get why it was a problem to be SO far from the house and not check in. "I knew it was okay mom, my buddy lives here!"
Even though we have only been in this neighborhood for about 6 months, Jacob knows every kid in the neighborhood. He has a constant problem with not telling us where he is going and is notorious for being somewhere new when we go to find him. When he was smaller, I would check every half hour or so. But the daily grind of checking for him gave way to a more practical approach.
I bought a watch with an alarm so that he would know to come home when the alarm went off. Unfortunately, he just had his friends turn off the alarm and continued playing. Therefore, the task continues to try to get him to report in with some regularity. This is not a defiance issue – he just is friends with everyone and goes off to play with another friend when the first has gone in for the night. I have been blessed with other neighborhood mothers who are patient with him and remind him to check in.
Usually I can find him among the scores of children on the two streets around us, but one night, I couldn't find him among any of those kids. Their reports that he had been seen riding hours ago in the direction away from the house only increased my fears.
After driving through the neighborhood looking for him for over an hour, I went to the next neighborhood over. A road that runs through both neighborhoods and is not busy attaches it - but I don't know anyone in that area. It was only a few moments before I saw his bike strewn in a front yard. I knocked on the door - but there was no answer. I called out for him, but got no response. Finally, I ran into the owner of the house. He was a big man with an oxygen tank. He said he had a couple of boys and that Jake came over there to play with his son. By the dad's report, Jake had been there for about an hour, and he had been there before. I gave him my number so that he could call if Jake came over again. Jake didn't get why it was a problem to be SO far from the house and not check in. "I knew it was okay mom, my buddy lives here!"
Friday, June 25, 2004
Whatsoever you do…
October 7, 2001
Three days ago, I got a new Prizm and traded in my repair-plagued Jeep. All the trips to the dealership were costing more than my car payment, so I opted to use that 0% financing and buy a new one. I feel I have spent more than my share of time in the company of the tow-truck driver.
On Saturday, Josh had basketball practice and I had to go back across town to pick him up when it was over. As I was leaving, I told Jake to get in the car. The temperature was dropping and he had muddy shoes, so I had him take them off and get in. Once we got to the school, it seemed to be taking a long time for Josh to come out, so I turned off the car and left Jacob inside while I ran into the building.
When I came out, he had climbed into the backseat and was playing with come cards I had brought. When I tried to start the car, it would not start. They key in the ignition would not move. This in my brand-new car! The reality finally sunk in that we were going to have to walk to the nearest phone - a fire station about 4 blocks up. So I wrapped up both boys in blankets and took off my shoes - giving them to Jake to walk on the sidewalk.
Once we got there the firemen, Scott and Daryl, were friendly and hospitable. I tried to get the boys to sit quietly and wait while I dialed into the roadside assistance line. It worked for about two minutes - until the firemen removed a sausage pizza from the oven. Jake got up and watched the first man start to eat. I told him to sit - but to no avail. He said " Boy, that sure looks good. I am really hungry". So the kind firemen offered Jake a piece - then Josh. No point in trying to teach manners when you have two hungry boys.
Those two men made the kids really feel at home. The told the boys about the other fire stations in town and that they no longer had a dog – but did have a nice cast-iron one out in front of the station. When Jake realized that there was only one piece of pizza left, he asked how many pieces other people had already had - in the hope that he would get the last piece. Scott told him it was spoken for, but got him some water to wash it all down. They even let him look at the fire truck. Pretty cool. One of the guys admired his lovely shoes and remarked that he should consider wearing them to school. Jake blushed and said they were yucky girl shoes!
We walked back down to the church and waited for the tow truck. The boys sat in the vestibule where it was warm and I went into the chapel. It was a nice spot - and Jake came in, genuflecting in front of the tiny alter. He thought it would be cool to sleep there. He wrapped up on the blanket and lay down on the ground.
Once the tow truck came, we all loaded up and dropped off the car. The driver then asked if he could call us a cab - but the dispatcher told him to just take us home. What a blessing to be in town when the car doesn't work.
I will say as my own little commentary to this story, that even though the irony of having the new car towed after only three days was a bit overwhelming; at every opportunity God placed someone in our path who was compassionate and kind to us - offering us food, a phone, a warm place to sit and a ride home. This is miraculous because I was barefoot - Jake and I were both dirty (I had been cleaning house) and none of us had a coat - only my old Indian blankets from the trunk!! What a site we must have been.
Three days ago, I got a new Prizm and traded in my repair-plagued Jeep. All the trips to the dealership were costing more than my car payment, so I opted to use that 0% financing and buy a new one. I feel I have spent more than my share of time in the company of the tow-truck driver.
On Saturday, Josh had basketball practice and I had to go back across town to pick him up when it was over. As I was leaving, I told Jake to get in the car. The temperature was dropping and he had muddy shoes, so I had him take them off and get in. Once we got to the school, it seemed to be taking a long time for Josh to come out, so I turned off the car and left Jacob inside while I ran into the building.
When I came out, he had climbed into the backseat and was playing with come cards I had brought. When I tried to start the car, it would not start. They key in the ignition would not move. This in my brand-new car! The reality finally sunk in that we were going to have to walk to the nearest phone - a fire station about 4 blocks up. So I wrapped up both boys in blankets and took off my shoes - giving them to Jake to walk on the sidewalk.
Once we got there the firemen, Scott and Daryl, were friendly and hospitable. I tried to get the boys to sit quietly and wait while I dialed into the roadside assistance line. It worked for about two minutes - until the firemen removed a sausage pizza from the oven. Jake got up and watched the first man start to eat. I told him to sit - but to no avail. He said " Boy, that sure looks good. I am really hungry". So the kind firemen offered Jake a piece - then Josh. No point in trying to teach manners when you have two hungry boys.
Those two men made the kids really feel at home. The told the boys about the other fire stations in town and that they no longer had a dog – but did have a nice cast-iron one out in front of the station. When Jake realized that there was only one piece of pizza left, he asked how many pieces other people had already had - in the hope that he would get the last piece. Scott told him it was spoken for, but got him some water to wash it all down. They even let him look at the fire truck. Pretty cool. One of the guys admired his lovely shoes and remarked that he should consider wearing them to school. Jake blushed and said they were yucky girl shoes!
We walked back down to the church and waited for the tow truck. The boys sat in the vestibule where it was warm and I went into the chapel. It was a nice spot - and Jake came in, genuflecting in front of the tiny alter. He thought it would be cool to sleep there. He wrapped up on the blanket and lay down on the ground.
Once the tow truck came, we all loaded up and dropped off the car. The driver then asked if he could call us a cab - but the dispatcher told him to just take us home. What a blessing to be in town when the car doesn't work.
I will say as my own little commentary to this story, that even though the irony of having the new car towed after only three days was a bit overwhelming; at every opportunity God placed someone in our path who was compassionate and kind to us - offering us food, a phone, a warm place to sit and a ride home. This is miraculous because I was barefoot - Jake and I were both dirty (I had been cleaning house) and none of us had a coat - only my old Indian blankets from the trunk!! What a site we must have been.
Santa is Satan
Dec 2003
Jake's Dad and their family were dedicated at a church about a month ago. I like that they are going to church as a family. He went to a Christmas party and asked one of the ladies if Santa was going to come and bring presents. She told him that if you add an N to santa that he is satan. Jake was demolished. She also told him that Santa was a fraud. After I was finished being aghast at this persons lack of sensitivity, I took action. The Christian bookstore had a special book called “A Place for Santa” which talks about the history of St Nicholas and how Santa does what he does out of love for Jesus and how he gives Jesus a list of all the good things people have done for each other all year. Lovely book. Not sure yet if he has recovered, but seems like he will.
Jake's Dad and their family were dedicated at a church about a month ago. I like that they are going to church as a family. He went to a Christmas party and asked one of the ladies if Santa was going to come and bring presents. She told him that if you add an N to santa that he is satan. Jake was demolished. She also told him that Santa was a fraud. After I was finished being aghast at this persons lack of sensitivity, I took action. The Christian bookstore had a special book called “A Place for Santa” which talks about the history of St Nicholas and how Santa does what he does out of love for Jesus and how he gives Jesus a list of all the good things people have done for each other all year. Lovely book. Not sure yet if he has recovered, but seems like he will.
Little Red
March, 2004
When Dan and I got married, he had an old Chevy S-10 that had been rolled a couple fo times and was showing it’s age. We called the truck “Little Red”. After Jerra’s accident, she had to drive Little Red, all through the winter and into the spring. At the beginning of March, Dan bought several cars at auction, giving Jerra a more appealing van to drive instead of Little Red. On a Tuesday afternoon, Joshua had detention and had to stay after school. I had a planning meeting for the new hospital, so Jacob came home alone. I know better than to let this happen, but somehow I missed it – so when I called to check in at the house, Jake answered the phone and told me he was alone. He said “ Mom, wait until you see what I did to Little Red!”
I asked him to tell me what he did. “ Mom, it looks so much better. Wiat until you see it. I painted it.”
I stopped breathing. “What did you use to paint it?”
He said he found some spray paint in the front seat. Oh, yea, I remember the spray paint.
When I got home, he showed me the pickup. He had sprayed red paint over all the little dings and scratches, covering the head lights, but otherwise staying to the red parts of the truck. Then he had taken the gold spray paint and detailed the truck. Down each side was a wave of gold paint – at least it was symmetrical. Around the windows and the license plate were similar details. He was really proud of his job. I admonished him to ask in the future before he painted anything. He said he was glad he painted it because it was so beautiful. And it is – oddly painted, but beautiful. When Dan came home, he was very upset about the truck, but only told Jake that he was upset with him over the paint job. Jacob said he wasn’t sorry, and that the truck was ugly before with all the brown marks, but now it was pretty and Dan should be happy that Jake cleaned it up for him!
When Dan and I got married, he had an old Chevy S-10 that had been rolled a couple fo times and was showing it’s age. We called the truck “Little Red”. After Jerra’s accident, she had to drive Little Red, all through the winter and into the spring. At the beginning of March, Dan bought several cars at auction, giving Jerra a more appealing van to drive instead of Little Red. On a Tuesday afternoon, Joshua had detention and had to stay after school. I had a planning meeting for the new hospital, so Jacob came home alone. I know better than to let this happen, but somehow I missed it – so when I called to check in at the house, Jake answered the phone and told me he was alone. He said “ Mom, wait until you see what I did to Little Red!”
I asked him to tell me what he did. “ Mom, it looks so much better. Wiat until you see it. I painted it.”
I stopped breathing. “What did you use to paint it?”
He said he found some spray paint in the front seat. Oh, yea, I remember the spray paint.
When I got home, he showed me the pickup. He had sprayed red paint over all the little dings and scratches, covering the head lights, but otherwise staying to the red parts of the truck. Then he had taken the gold spray paint and detailed the truck. Down each side was a wave of gold paint – at least it was symmetrical. Around the windows and the license plate were similar details. He was really proud of his job. I admonished him to ask in the future before he painted anything. He said he was glad he painted it because it was so beautiful. And it is – oddly painted, but beautiful. When Dan came home, he was very upset about the truck, but only told Jake that he was upset with him over the paint job. Jacob said he wasn’t sorry, and that the truck was ugly before with all the brown marks, but now it was pretty and Dan should be happy that Jake cleaned it up for him!
Are any more shoes going to drop?
April 2004 was pretty much the worst month our family has had since Jacob had brain surgery. Everyone was tired and the constant arguing at the house was making everyone restless and sleep deprived. Dan had gone on a trip for a couple of days, so it was just the kids and I at the house. Jerra was at aschool function, and I was supposed to go pick her up about 9. Dan and I had argued again that day about the cell phone, and unbeknownst to me, Dan had turned my phone off again. We had decided that things were just not working out and that the kids and I were going to move out in May – just 12 days away.
Jacob was in the kitchen watching TV and it was almost bedtime. The house was quiet, except for the TV and I went in the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. I peeked around the corner and told him it was 15 minutes until bedtime. I went back around the corner and there was a thud. It was a loud sickening thud that sounded like an anvil crashing onto the floor. I thought maybe Jake had climbed onto the counter and fallen, but as he came into view, the old horror gripped me. He was on the floor sprawled out unnaturally, and his eyes were rolled up in his head. I called his name and touched his face, but he was unresponsive – breathing was shallow. It was surreal – like a replay from 6 years ago. I just kept saying Oh My God, Oh My God – I think it was the only phrase that would some to mind. I yelled for Joshua to call 911 just as Jacob started to seize. I cradled his head in my arms and kept stroking his head. Josh came into the room and he asked if I was serious – I said I was. The seizure probably only lasted two minutes, but the shaking must have been exhausting. Jacob was unresponsive but no longer shaking when the first responders got to the house. Within a couple fo minutes, he was post ictal, disoriented and throwing himself around the floor. He complained that he was hot, even though he was dressed only in boxer shorts. The ambulance loaded him up and took him to the hospital. Poor baby got sick – repeatedly – and when we got to the hospital, he got Phenergan and then Benadryl. After these two medications and a seizure – Jacob was drunk. He is not a nice drunk and I have admonished my family that if something should happen to me before he is of age, someone should tell him he is not a nice drunk. He told me to f#$!-off at the hospital as he was trying to pull out his IV.
Joshua manned the fort at home and helped get my folks to the hospital and Jerra home. He is such a big help. Everyone came up to the hospital – and when the nurse finally said that we were done, Jacob proceeded to pull the IV out. Good thing his mom is a nurse. I bandaged it up until the nurse got back and we all went home exhausted.
The CAT scan did not go well – because he was drunk and the tech was impatient and condescending. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to go in the room and punch that chick in the nose. I tried to explain that the medication was making him uncooperative, but she decided that she knew more about Jake than I did. Stupid wench.
See, I am still mad about her!
The next day, we had an EEG scheduled. Jacob reacted to the lights flashing on the EEG. He described it as being like someone punched him hard in the head and then he felt electricity in his belly.
Over the course of the next week we did two EEGs, both of which drew a reaction and an MRI which Jacob slept through. The MRI showed some frontal lobe atrophy, which the doctore reassured me was a result of post operative changes. We started Depakote and I went back to vigilance. This is a VERY difficult task since Jacob is a wanderer and loves ot be down at the creek finding some sort of creature to chase.
Interestingly enough, it was two days after the seizure that Dan let me use his cell phone and I discovered he had been seeing someone else. No wonder he was so impatient with me. I called the number and the woman didn’t know Dan was married. At this point, I went into mother-overload. Reflecting back, he did me a favor. At that moment I lost any respect I had left for him and I got the “get out of jail free card” for the marriage. He had crossed the line and tried to say it was my fault. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
As a post script to this – Jacob has been seizure free for over a month now. I think the stress reduction of having just the kids and I in a house has been really good for him – and really good for the rest of us. There is the possibility that he may outgrow these seizures and be done with the whole thing by the time he is in high school. I hope so.
Jacob was in the kitchen watching TV and it was almost bedtime. The house was quiet, except for the TV and I went in the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. I peeked around the corner and told him it was 15 minutes until bedtime. I went back around the corner and there was a thud. It was a loud sickening thud that sounded like an anvil crashing onto the floor. I thought maybe Jake had climbed onto the counter and fallen, but as he came into view, the old horror gripped me. He was on the floor sprawled out unnaturally, and his eyes were rolled up in his head. I called his name and touched his face, but he was unresponsive – breathing was shallow. It was surreal – like a replay from 6 years ago. I just kept saying Oh My God, Oh My God – I think it was the only phrase that would some to mind. I yelled for Joshua to call 911 just as Jacob started to seize. I cradled his head in my arms and kept stroking his head. Josh came into the room and he asked if I was serious – I said I was. The seizure probably only lasted two minutes, but the shaking must have been exhausting. Jacob was unresponsive but no longer shaking when the first responders got to the house. Within a couple fo minutes, he was post ictal, disoriented and throwing himself around the floor. He complained that he was hot, even though he was dressed only in boxer shorts. The ambulance loaded him up and took him to the hospital. Poor baby got sick – repeatedly – and when we got to the hospital, he got Phenergan and then Benadryl. After these two medications and a seizure – Jacob was drunk. He is not a nice drunk and I have admonished my family that if something should happen to me before he is of age, someone should tell him he is not a nice drunk. He told me to f#$!-off at the hospital as he was trying to pull out his IV.
Joshua manned the fort at home and helped get my folks to the hospital and Jerra home. He is such a big help. Everyone came up to the hospital – and when the nurse finally said that we were done, Jacob proceeded to pull the IV out. Good thing his mom is a nurse. I bandaged it up until the nurse got back and we all went home exhausted.
The CAT scan did not go well – because he was drunk and the tech was impatient and condescending. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to go in the room and punch that chick in the nose. I tried to explain that the medication was making him uncooperative, but she decided that she knew more about Jake than I did. Stupid wench.
See, I am still mad about her!
The next day, we had an EEG scheduled. Jacob reacted to the lights flashing on the EEG. He described it as being like someone punched him hard in the head and then he felt electricity in his belly.
Over the course of the next week we did two EEGs, both of which drew a reaction and an MRI which Jacob slept through. The MRI showed some frontal lobe atrophy, which the doctore reassured me was a result of post operative changes. We started Depakote and I went back to vigilance. This is a VERY difficult task since Jacob is a wanderer and loves ot be down at the creek finding some sort of creature to chase.
Interestingly enough, it was two days after the seizure that Dan let me use his cell phone and I discovered he had been seeing someone else. No wonder he was so impatient with me. I called the number and the woman didn’t know Dan was married. At this point, I went into mother-overload. Reflecting back, he did me a favor. At that moment I lost any respect I had left for him and I got the “get out of jail free card” for the marriage. He had crossed the line and tried to say it was my fault. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
As a post script to this – Jacob has been seizure free for over a month now. I think the stress reduction of having just the kids and I in a house has been really good for him – and really good for the rest of us. There is the possibility that he may outgrow these seizures and be done with the whole thing by the time he is in high school. I hope so.
A tall handsome man in uniform
September 2001
On Saturday morning, I was trying to get the house ready for company on Labor Day. Jacob was playing with our kindergarten-aged neighbor, Georgie, and Jerra. At one point they were checking out Pokemon cards, then the boys started to chase Jerra. They were laughing and Georgie has a contagious giggle that permeated the whole house. I could hear Jerra running from the boys and the door to the bathroom close as she sought a moment of relief from her little tormentors.
I walked into the living room to check on them and there stood Jacob with a look of disbelief on his little face. He had the cordless phone in his hand. I asked him who he had called and he said," The lady on the phone said they were sending someone right over to check on me".
This did not bode well, so I asked again, whom he had called. He lowered his head and answered "911".
Even though it was a cleaning day, I have no idea where the phone book might be so that I can call the police and tell them everything is all right. After taking the phone from Jake and putting him in his room, there was no way to contact 911 without re-dialing 911 - so I waited for the policeman. It did not take very long. From call to arrival was less than two minutes.
The policeman had to be about 6'3" and when I greeted him in the driveway explaining what had happened, he asked to speak to Jacob. We walked into the house and he waited in the living room. I called Jacob, telling him that the policeman wanted to talk to him. Jerra, Georgie, and I all stood at the back of the room while Jacob walked over to the policeman.
The office towered over Jake, and he asked Jacob what he had learned about emergencies and 911 in school. Jacob answered that emergencies where when someone stole your things, or there was a fire, or someone was dead ( pretty astute for Jake!). The officer nodded in agreement. Then he leaned down and in a voice no louder than a whisper, he asked Jacob, " When your sister locks herself in the bathroom, is that an emergency?"
Jake answered no as he turned very pale. Then the officer stood upright and said now that they understood one another, Jake could call him if there was a real emergency and needed help, but only then. Jake nodded in agreement and the officer gave him "5" on the way out the door.
Jacob then turned his attention back to us, the color returning to his cheeks and said, " I though I was going to jail!"
On Saturday morning, I was trying to get the house ready for company on Labor Day. Jacob was playing with our kindergarten-aged neighbor, Georgie, and Jerra. At one point they were checking out Pokemon cards, then the boys started to chase Jerra. They were laughing and Georgie has a contagious giggle that permeated the whole house. I could hear Jerra running from the boys and the door to the bathroom close as she sought a moment of relief from her little tormentors.
I walked into the living room to check on them and there stood Jacob with a look of disbelief on his little face. He had the cordless phone in his hand. I asked him who he had called and he said," The lady on the phone said they were sending someone right over to check on me".
This did not bode well, so I asked again, whom he had called. He lowered his head and answered "911".
Even though it was a cleaning day, I have no idea where the phone book might be so that I can call the police and tell them everything is all right. After taking the phone from Jake and putting him in his room, there was no way to contact 911 without re-dialing 911 - so I waited for the policeman. It did not take very long. From call to arrival was less than two minutes.
The policeman had to be about 6'3" and when I greeted him in the driveway explaining what had happened, he asked to speak to Jacob. We walked into the house and he waited in the living room. I called Jacob, telling him that the policeman wanted to talk to him. Jerra, Georgie, and I all stood at the back of the room while Jacob walked over to the policeman.
The office towered over Jake, and he asked Jacob what he had learned about emergencies and 911 in school. Jacob answered that emergencies where when someone stole your things, or there was a fire, or someone was dead ( pretty astute for Jake!). The officer nodded in agreement. Then he leaned down and in a voice no louder than a whisper, he asked Jacob, " When your sister locks herself in the bathroom, is that an emergency?"
Jake answered no as he turned very pale. Then the officer stood upright and said now that they understood one another, Jake could call him if there was a real emergency and needed help, but only then. Jake nodded in agreement and the officer gave him "5" on the way out the door.
Jacob then turned his attention back to us, the color returning to his cheeks and said, " I though I was going to jail!"
There are rats on my bed
We got a dog. It was a rather sad dog and I had to bring her home. When I answered the ad in the paper it was for husky puppies. I went to pick up the pup and she was huddled , wet muddy and alone in a chicken wire pen that was full of mud, feces and puppy food. She may have had husky in there somewhere, but she looked like an emaciated German shepherd. She was already a couple of months old, and the damage had been done. She was crazy. I had a fenced in yard and she had to jump the fence. Then I put her on a lead and she ran around and around all day long until the yard looked like a race track. Unfortunately, this dog became pregnant. I had underestimated her age and she went into heat before I could get her spayed.
During her pregnancy, her mental faculties decreased rapidly. She barked and ran until I though she would exhaust herself. She forgot all of her histrionics. I felt bad for her, so I let her come in only long enough to kennel her at night. The kids would let her stay out longer and roam the house – risking my wrath and her bodily deposits - when I was working nights. Our babysitter, Rusty was on duty the night the puppies were born.
The dog had curled up on JacobÂ’s bottom bunk and about 3 am there was a great uproar. Jacob had awakened to find his bed covered in wet crawling things and started screaming, "There are rats on my bed! There are rats on my bed!"
Rusty and Jerra ran in. Laughter ensued as they scooped up the wet puppies all over his bed. Once he was awake enough to see what they were he picked them up.
During her pregnancy, her mental faculties decreased rapidly. She barked and ran until I though she would exhaust herself. She forgot all of her histrionics. I felt bad for her, so I let her come in only long enough to kennel her at night. The kids would let her stay out longer and roam the house – risking my wrath and her bodily deposits - when I was working nights. Our babysitter, Rusty was on duty the night the puppies were born.
The dog had curled up on JacobÂ’s bottom bunk and about 3 am there was a great uproar. Jacob had awakened to find his bed covered in wet crawling things and started screaming, "There are rats on my bed! There are rats on my bed!"
Rusty and Jerra ran in. Laughter ensued as they scooped up the wet puppies all over his bed. Once he was awake enough to see what they were he picked them up.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
The King of Demolition
As the third child, I thought I was prepared for Jacob. The seizures had left his ability to focus and understand things impaired, so I never knew what he would do next.
When he was about two and a half, I put him in front of Winnie the Pooh and went up to the bathroom. Usually, I kept him within earshot so that if he got into something, the damage would be minimal. Using the restroom was risky, because it was not always desirable to have a two-ear old in the potty. When I came down the stairs, I found Jacob in the living room in a pile of sugar and two lemons with a knife in them. One of the lemons had actually been sawed in half and the other had been skewered with a steak knife. "I was making lemonade like you, Mamma."
This would be enough for most people, but not Jake. In the process of getting out the knife, he knocked over all of the dishes drying on the counter, breaking a couple of glasses. Most of the items that were in the pantry with the sugar, including a container of oatmeal, were spilling out of the cabinet. The refrigerator was still open – with tea produce drawer still pulled out propping open the door.
When he was about two and a half, I put him in front of Winnie the Pooh and went up to the bathroom. Usually, I kept him within earshot so that if he got into something, the damage would be minimal. Using the restroom was risky, because it was not always desirable to have a two-ear old in the potty. When I came down the stairs, I found Jacob in the living room in a pile of sugar and two lemons with a knife in them. One of the lemons had actually been sawed in half and the other had been skewered with a steak knife. "I was making lemonade like you, Mamma."
This would be enough for most people, but not Jake. In the process of getting out the knife, he knocked over all of the dishes drying on the counter, breaking a couple of glasses. Most of the items that were in the pantry with the sugar, including a container of oatmeal, were spilling out of the cabinet. The refrigerator was still open – with tea produce drawer still pulled out propping open the door.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
About Me
- Loner
- Mother to 3 wonderous young adults, dreamer, daughter, and still in search of love's elusive gifts