Are any more shoes going to drop?

April 2004 was pretty much the worst month our family has had since Jacob had brain surgery. Everyone was tired and the constant arguing at the house was making everyone restless and sleep deprived. Dan had gone on a trip for a couple of days, so it was just the kids and I at the house. Jerra was at aschool function, and I was supposed to go pick her up about 9. Dan and I had argued again that day about the cell phone, and unbeknownst to me, Dan had turned my phone off again. We had decided that things were just not working out and that the kids and I were going to move out in May – just 12 days away.

Jacob was in the kitchen watching TV and it was almost bedtime. The house was quiet, except for the TV and I went in the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. I peeked around the corner and told him it was 15 minutes until bedtime. I went back around the corner and there was a thud. It was a loud sickening thud that sounded like an anvil crashing onto the floor. I thought maybe Jake had climbed onto the counter and fallen, but as he came into view, the old horror gripped me. He was on the floor sprawled out unnaturally, and his eyes were rolled up in his head. I called his name and touched his face, but he was unresponsive – breathing was shallow. It was surreal – like a replay from 6 years ago. I just kept saying Oh My God, Oh My God – I think it was the only phrase that would some to mind. I yelled for Joshua to call 911 just as Jacob started to seize. I cradled his head in my arms and kept stroking his head. Josh came into the room and he asked if I was serious – I said I was. The seizure probably only lasted two minutes, but the shaking must have been exhausting. Jacob was unresponsive but no longer shaking when the first responders got to the house. Within a couple fo minutes, he was post ictal, disoriented and throwing himself around the floor. He complained that he was hot, even though he was dressed only in boxer shorts. The ambulance loaded him up and took him to the hospital. Poor baby got sick – repeatedly – and when we got to the hospital, he got Phenergan and then Benadryl. After these two medications and a seizure – Jacob was drunk. He is not a nice drunk and I have admonished my family that if something should happen to me before he is of age, someone should tell him he is not a nice drunk. He told me to f#$!-off at the hospital as he was trying to pull out his IV.

Joshua manned the fort at home and helped get my folks to the hospital and Jerra home. He is such a big help. Everyone came up to the hospital – and when the nurse finally said that we were done, Jacob proceeded to pull the IV out. Good thing his mom is a nurse. I bandaged it up until the nurse got back and we all went home exhausted.

The CAT scan did not go well – because he was drunk and the tech was impatient and condescending. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to go in the room and punch that chick in the nose. I tried to explain that the medication was making him uncooperative, but she decided that she knew more about Jake than I did. Stupid wench.
See, I am still mad about her!

The next day, we had an EEG scheduled. Jacob reacted to the lights flashing on the EEG. He described it as being like someone punched him hard in the head and then he felt electricity in his belly.
Over the course of the next week we did two EEGs, both of which drew a reaction and an MRI which Jacob slept through. The MRI showed some frontal lobe atrophy, which the doctore reassured me was a result of post operative changes. We started Depakote and I went back to vigilance. This is a VERY difficult task since Jacob is a wanderer and loves ot be down at the creek finding some sort of creature to chase.

Interestingly enough, it was two days after the seizure that Dan let me use his cell phone and I discovered he had been seeing someone else. No wonder he was so impatient with me. I called the number and the woman didn’t know Dan was married. At this point, I went into mother-overload. Reflecting back, he did me a favor. At that moment I lost any respect I had left for him and I got the “get out of jail free card” for the marriage. He had crossed the line and tried to say it was my fault. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

As a post script to this – Jacob has been seizure free for over a month now. I think the stress reduction of having just the kids and I in a house has been really good for him – and really good for the rest of us. There is the possibility that he may outgrow these seizures and be done with the whole thing by the time he is in high school. I hope so.