Whatsoever you do…

October 7, 2001
Three days ago, I got a new Prizm and traded in my repair-plagued Jeep. All the trips to the dealership were costing more than my car payment, so I opted to use that 0% financing and buy a new one. I feel I have spent more than my share of time in the company of the tow-truck driver.

On Saturday, Josh had basketball practice and I had to go back across town to pick him up when it was over. As I was leaving, I told Jake to get in the car. The temperature was dropping and he had muddy shoes, so I had him take them off and get in. Once we got to the school, it seemed to be taking a long time for Josh to come out, so I turned off the car and left Jacob inside while I ran into the building.

When I came out, he had climbed into the backseat and was playing with come cards I had brought. When I tried to start the car, it would not start. They key in the ignition would not move. This in my brand-new car! The reality finally sunk in that we were going to have to walk to the nearest phone - a fire station about 4 blocks up. So I wrapped up both boys in blankets and took off my shoes - giving them to Jake to walk on the sidewalk.

Once we got there the firemen, Scott and Daryl, were friendly and hospitable. I tried to get the boys to sit quietly and wait while I dialed into the roadside assistance line. It worked for about two minutes - until the firemen removed a sausage pizza from the oven. Jake got up and watched the first man start to eat. I told him to sit - but to no avail. He said " Boy, that sure looks good. I am really hungry". So the kind firemen offered Jake a piece - then Josh. No point in trying to teach manners when you have two hungry boys.

Those two men made the kids really feel at home. The told the boys about the other fire stations in town and that they no longer had a dog – but did have a nice cast-iron one out in front of the station. When Jake realized that there was only one piece of pizza left, he asked how many pieces other people had already had - in the hope that he would get the last piece. Scott told him it was spoken for, but got him some water to wash it all down. They even let him look at the fire truck. Pretty cool. One of the guys admired his lovely shoes and remarked that he should consider wearing them to school. Jake blushed and said they were yucky girl shoes!

We walked back down to the church and waited for the tow truck. The boys sat in the vestibule where it was warm and I went into the chapel. It was a nice spot - and Jake came in, genuflecting in front of the tiny alter. He thought it would be cool to sleep there. He wrapped up on the blanket and lay down on the ground.

Once the tow truck came, we all loaded up and dropped off the car. The driver then asked if he could call us a cab - but the dispatcher told him to just take us home. What a blessing to be in town when the car doesn't work.

I will say as my own little commentary to this story, that even though the irony of having the new car towed after only three days was a bit overwhelming; at every opportunity God placed someone in our path who was compassionate and kind to us - offering us food, a phone, a warm place to sit and a ride home. This is miraculous because I was barefoot - Jake and I were both dirty (I had been cleaning house) and none of us had a coat - only my old Indian blankets from the trunk!! What a site we must have been.

Santa is Satan

Dec 2003
Jake's Dad and their family were dedicated at a church about a month ago. I like that they are going to church as a family. He went to a Christmas party and asked one of the ladies if Santa was going to come and bring presents. She told him that if you add an N to santa that he is satan. Jake was demolished. She also told him that Santa was a fraud. After I was finished being aghast at this persons lack of sensitivity, I took action. The Christian bookstore had a special book called “A Place for Santa” which talks about the history of St Nicholas and how Santa does what he does out of love for Jesus and how he gives Jesus a list of all the good things people have done for each other all year. Lovely book. Not sure yet if he has recovered, but seems like he will.

Little Red

March, 2004

When Dan and I got married, he had an old Chevy S-10 that had been rolled a couple fo times and was showing it’s age. We called the truck “Little Red”. After Jerra’s accident, she had to drive Little Red, all through the winter and into the spring. At the beginning of March, Dan bought several cars at auction, giving Jerra a more appealing van to drive instead of Little Red. On a Tuesday afternoon, Joshua had detention and had to stay after school. I had a planning meeting for the new hospital, so Jacob came home alone. I know better than to let this happen, but somehow I missed it – so when I called to check in at the house, Jake answered the phone and told me he was alone. He said “ Mom, wait until you see what I did to Little Red!”
I asked him to tell me what he did. “ Mom, it looks so much better. Wiat until you see it. I painted it.”
I stopped breathing. “What did you use to paint it?”
He said he found some spray paint in the front seat. Oh, yea, I remember the spray paint.

When I got home, he showed me the pickup. He had sprayed red paint over all the little dings and scratches, covering the head lights, but otherwise staying to the red parts of the truck. Then he had taken the gold spray paint and detailed the truck. Down each side was a wave of gold paint – at least it was symmetrical. Around the windows and the license plate were similar details. He was really proud of his job. I admonished him to ask in the future before he painted anything. He said he was glad he painted it because it was so beautiful. And it is – oddly painted, but beautiful. When Dan came home, he was very upset about the truck, but only told Jake that he was upset with him over the paint job. Jacob said he wasn’t sorry, and that the truck was ugly before with all the brown marks, but now it was pretty and Dan should be happy that Jake cleaned it up for him!

Are any more shoes going to drop?

April 2004 was pretty much the worst month our family has had since Jacob had brain surgery. Everyone was tired and the constant arguing at the house was making everyone restless and sleep deprived. Dan had gone on a trip for a couple of days, so it was just the kids and I at the house. Jerra was at aschool function, and I was supposed to go pick her up about 9. Dan and I had argued again that day about the cell phone, and unbeknownst to me, Dan had turned my phone off again. We had decided that things were just not working out and that the kids and I were going to move out in May – just 12 days away.

Jacob was in the kitchen watching TV and it was almost bedtime. The house was quiet, except for the TV and I went in the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. I peeked around the corner and told him it was 15 minutes until bedtime. I went back around the corner and there was a thud. It was a loud sickening thud that sounded like an anvil crashing onto the floor. I thought maybe Jake had climbed onto the counter and fallen, but as he came into view, the old horror gripped me. He was on the floor sprawled out unnaturally, and his eyes were rolled up in his head. I called his name and touched his face, but he was unresponsive – breathing was shallow. It was surreal – like a replay from 6 years ago. I just kept saying Oh My God, Oh My God – I think it was the only phrase that would some to mind. I yelled for Joshua to call 911 just as Jacob started to seize. I cradled his head in my arms and kept stroking his head. Josh came into the room and he asked if I was serious – I said I was. The seizure probably only lasted two minutes, but the shaking must have been exhausting. Jacob was unresponsive but no longer shaking when the first responders got to the house. Within a couple fo minutes, he was post ictal, disoriented and throwing himself around the floor. He complained that he was hot, even though he was dressed only in boxer shorts. The ambulance loaded him up and took him to the hospital. Poor baby got sick – repeatedly – and when we got to the hospital, he got Phenergan and then Benadryl. After these two medications and a seizure – Jacob was drunk. He is not a nice drunk and I have admonished my family that if something should happen to me before he is of age, someone should tell him he is not a nice drunk. He told me to f#$!-off at the hospital as he was trying to pull out his IV.

Joshua manned the fort at home and helped get my folks to the hospital and Jerra home. He is such a big help. Everyone came up to the hospital – and when the nurse finally said that we were done, Jacob proceeded to pull the IV out. Good thing his mom is a nurse. I bandaged it up until the nurse got back and we all went home exhausted.

The CAT scan did not go well – because he was drunk and the tech was impatient and condescending. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to go in the room and punch that chick in the nose. I tried to explain that the medication was making him uncooperative, but she decided that she knew more about Jake than I did. Stupid wench.
See, I am still mad about her!

The next day, we had an EEG scheduled. Jacob reacted to the lights flashing on the EEG. He described it as being like someone punched him hard in the head and then he felt electricity in his belly.
Over the course of the next week we did two EEGs, both of which drew a reaction and an MRI which Jacob slept through. The MRI showed some frontal lobe atrophy, which the doctore reassured me was a result of post operative changes. We started Depakote and I went back to vigilance. This is a VERY difficult task since Jacob is a wanderer and loves ot be down at the creek finding some sort of creature to chase.

Interestingly enough, it was two days after the seizure that Dan let me use his cell phone and I discovered he had been seeing someone else. No wonder he was so impatient with me. I called the number and the woman didn’t know Dan was married. At this point, I went into mother-overload. Reflecting back, he did me a favor. At that moment I lost any respect I had left for him and I got the “get out of jail free card” for the marriage. He had crossed the line and tried to say it was my fault. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

As a post script to this – Jacob has been seizure free for over a month now. I think the stress reduction of having just the kids and I in a house has been really good for him – and really good for the rest of us. There is the possibility that he may outgrow these seizures and be done with the whole thing by the time he is in high school. I hope so.

A tall handsome man in uniform

September 2001
On Saturday morning, I was trying to get the house ready for company on Labor Day. Jacob was playing with our kindergarten-aged neighbor, Georgie, and Jerra. At one point they were checking out Pokemon cards, then the boys started to chase Jerra. They were laughing and Georgie has a contagious giggle that permeated the whole house. I could hear Jerra running from the boys and the door to the bathroom close as she sought a moment of relief from her little tormentors.

I walked into the living room to check on them and there stood Jacob with a look of disbelief on his little face. He had the cordless phone in his hand. I asked him who he had called and he said," The lady on the phone said they were sending someone right over to check on me".

This did not bode well, so I asked again, whom he had called. He lowered his head and answered "911".

Even though it was a cleaning day, I have no idea where the phone book might be so that I can call the police and tell them everything is all right. After taking the phone from Jake and putting him in his room, there was no way to contact 911 without re-dialing 911 - so I waited for the policeman. It did not take very long. From call to arrival was less than two minutes.

The policeman had to be about 6'3" and when I greeted him in the driveway explaining what had happened, he asked to speak to Jacob. We walked into the house and he waited in the living room. I called Jacob, telling him that the policeman wanted to talk to him. Jerra, Georgie, and I all stood at the back of the room while Jacob walked over to the policeman.

The office towered over Jake, and he asked Jacob what he had learned about emergencies and 911 in school. Jacob answered that emergencies where when someone stole your things, or there was a fire, or someone was dead ( pretty astute for Jake!). The officer nodded in agreement. Then he leaned down and in a voice no louder than a whisper, he asked Jacob, " When your sister locks herself in the bathroom, is that an emergency?"

Jake answered no as he turned very pale. Then the officer stood upright and said now that they understood one another, Jake could call him if there was a real emergency and needed help, but only then. Jake nodded in agreement and the officer gave him "5" on the way out the door.

Jacob then turned his attention back to us, the color returning to his cheeks and said, " I though I was going to jail!"

There are rats on my bed

We got a dog. It was a rather sad dog and I had to bring her home. When I answered the ad in the paper it was for husky puppies. I went to pick up the pup and she was huddled , wet muddy and alone in a chicken wire pen that was full of mud, feces and puppy food. She may have had husky in there somewhere, but she looked like an emaciated German shepherd. She was already a couple of months old, and the damage had been done. She was crazy. I had a fenced in yard and she had to jump the fence. Then I put her on a lead and she ran around and around all day long until the yard looked like a race track. Unfortunately, this dog became pregnant. I had underestimated her age and she went into heat before I could get her spayed.

During her pregnancy, her mental faculties decreased rapidly. She barked and ran until I though she would exhaust herself. She forgot all of her histrionics. I felt bad for her, so I let her come in only long enough to kennel her at night. The kids would let her stay out longer and roam the house – risking my wrath and her bodily deposits - when I was working nights. Our babysitter, Rusty was on duty the night the puppies were born.

The dog had curled up on JacobÂ’s bottom bunk and about 3 am there was a great uproar. Jacob had awakened to find his bed covered in wet crawling things and started screaming, "There are rats on my bed! There are rats on my bed!"

Rusty and Jerra ran in. Laughter ensued as they scooped up the wet puppies all over his bed. Once he was awake enough to see what they were he picked them up.

The King of Demolition

As the third child, I thought I was prepared for Jacob. The seizures had left his ability to focus and understand things impaired, so I never knew what he would do next.

When he was about two and a half, I put him in front of Winnie the Pooh and went up to the bathroom. Usually, I kept him within earshot so that if he got into something, the damage would be minimal. Using the restroom was risky, because it was not always desirable to have a two-ear old in the potty. When I came down the stairs, I found Jacob in the living room in a pile of sugar and two lemons with a knife in them. One of the lemons had actually been sawed in half and the other had been skewered with a steak knife. "I was making lemonade like you, Mamma."

This would be enough for most people, but not Jake. In the process of getting out the knife, he knocked over all of the dishes drying on the counter, breaking a couple of glasses. Most of the items that were in the pantry with the sugar, including a container of oatmeal, were spilling out of the cabinet. The refrigerator was still open – with tea produce drawer still pulled out propping open the door.