Inherit the Wind

We were discussing what would happen to the lake house in Indiana should something happen to my parents.
We decided that the lake could not be left ot Jacob as inheritance bvecause he would sell it to buy an H-1 HUMMER.

Further pubescent drama

On the way to the lake house this weekend, the kids were in bathing suits preparing for a day at the pool. About half way to North Carolina, Jacob gasps in horror. I turn around only to find him gazing in amazement - well more like disbelief that his body could betray him like this - talking to his armpit he said: "There is a hair in my armpit.....and it's dark!!!!"

He was just aghast - though we have talked openly about the changes that would happen, it was still a shocker.

The next ten minutes were spent by every one in th family trying to reassure him that it woudl be okay. Then Jerra pipes in- "you know when your pits get hairy, it is pretty much a big sign"

Yummy

Jake has been asking me to get him some beef jerky over the past couple of days. Things are tight financially right now, so I have only been buying necessities - and beef jerky wasn't one of those.

Yesterday afternoon the boys were in the front room watching cartoons, when Josh looked at his brother in horror. He had a dark strip and was just munching away. Josh said - what is that
Jake responded- Mom got me some beef jerky
Josh looked closer only to find that Jake was munching happily on "Beggin Strips" -- bacon flavored strips that I bought for the puppy training class - they were in the canister with the other dog biscuits.

They were good, os he finished the one he had started and put the others back - the child is unrepentant, though I think he'll stay out of the puppy treats for a while.

Puberty

Yesterday on the way to football practice, I asked Jacob how school went. The conversation went like this:
Jake: Well, today we learned about puberty.
Mom: Really? What did you learn?
Jake: They put the boys in one room and the girls in another.
Mom: Did you watch a movie?
Jake: There was a lot of stuff they talked about. Lots of girls have already started puberty and their large bones grow faster. When boys start, they get all embarrassed about talking to girls.
Mom: Did they talk about changes in your body?
Jake : Well, when you start to grow hair on your penis, then that is pretty much the sign that you are in puberty.
Mom: Did they talk about how sometimes the penis will act funny
Jake: Yea, like if you have a special kind of relationship with a girl, it can misbehave.
Again at dinner I asked Jake to tell the family what he had learned - since it had seemed he got most of the lesson - all he said was: "Well, when your penis starts to get hairy - that is pretty much a big sign!"

The pond

The new house has a little pond - not sure how many gallos, but it is about 5 feet long and a couple feet deep. When we moved in there was one lone fish - he had weathered at least one winter in the pond alone. We called him Encino like the character from the movie.

Jacob likes the new neighborhood. He has a couple of boys his age, but more importantly, there are woods and he has a place to hang out and get muddy. There is a boy in the neighborhood who is older, but had meningitis in first grade, so he and Jake have that same non-linear thinking and they get along - fishing and catching frogs being their favorite pastimes.

I came home after work one evening not long after we moved in and found the two of them in the back yard. They had caught the fish and the frogs in the pond and put them in buckets. The water lilies were on the sidewalk and they were scrubbing furiously at the sides of the plastic liner for the pond. They had cleaned it out trying to be helpful. Unfortunately, they did not understand that frogs and tadpoles and fish need clean water - but not tap water. Several of the tadpoles bit the dust over night and I had to fish them out.

Skills

Sunday afternoon Jacob and Justin were out in the yard. I want everyone to have a part in the new house - painting, sanding and yard work. So I gave Jacob the duty of gathering all the fallen limbs from the yard and putting them in the fireplace outside to burn. He loved the job - and about an hour after he stared, Justin came out to join him. He had placed several large limbs on the fireplace which were not burning well.

Justin saw this and fixed the fire so that the air could get to the embers. Then he put a branch up against a thick tree and kicked it - breaking the branch in half.

Jacob was astonished - "Man you've got skills!! Why didn't you tell anybody you have those kind of skills?!?"

My son, the carnivore

We went to a Chinese Buffet last night. Jacob, as usual, was in heaven with the array of seafood. First plate was mussels and shrimp. Second plate, King crab legs, Chinese pork ribs (he forgot about the no meat thing and I ignored it) and more shrimp. Then plate three: more crab legs. Then came the question - Mamma, is it okay if I get crawdads? Oddly enough, the only time I have ever eaten crawdads in my life was the night he was conceived - not that I hate them, the idea of eating something that is still looking at me is upsetting. Not for Jake, he loves them. I said it was okay.

He returned to the table with a small pile of steamed crawdads and one poor deep-fired prawn who was skewered from nose to tailfin - eyes intact. ew. After disposing of the crawdads in quick order, he covered them with a napkin. Then began working on the prawn - legs and all. That was more than I could take - so I removed it from his hand and started to peel away the exoskeleton and the legs. Unfortunately, this gave Jake a moment's pause and he saw the crawdad peaking from beneath the napkin "How could you?" he said in the little voice of the crawdad "You ate my tail!" "Save my babies!" From that point he could have eaten whatever he wanted, Josh and I were nearly doubled with laughter as the commentary from the crawdad continued. At least I don't' have to worry about his appetite!

Watch what you're doing with those things.

Today we went to see the new pediatrician. Thought it would be a good idea to find a man, so the boys could chat with him about guy stuff if needed. The office I chose had two men, one of whom is a young Russian immigrant. He seemed nice enough. Asked a lot of questions - twice - which made me wonder if he was just a bit distracted.

After the doc left, I asked Jacob for his opinion. He Whispered very loudly that he was going to have to cut off his left leg from the knee down.

"When he leaned over to listen to my heart, his balls touched my leg....cut it off , cut it off!!!"

Now I was in the room and I assure you the mans balls were covered with pants - but it didn't matter to Jake ---so we'll have to see if he recovers or if we have to find a new pediatrician.